So my oldest daughter, Kyra, turned 6 years old last Friday (19th). Hard to believe it has been 6 years. I've been mulling this over the past two days on whether or not to post anything about it. As well as what and what not to post on Facebook or Blog about in my personal life. Things like; my divorce, not being around my kids, my financial problems, ect. I really want to be someone like Kevin Smith and post what ever the hell is on my mind without worrying about people taking it the wrong way. There is so much I've been holding back, and hopefully some day soon I will be able to talk about it. The things that have made me happy, sad, depressed, overjoyed. All of it.
So... back to the subject at hand; I got to talk to my daughter on the phone for (re-checks his cell phone) 1 minute 03 seconds on her Birthday. It happened so fast, she told me about getting presents and a cake and sounded really happy... and then she said goodbye and the phone was hung up. As easy as it is to assume and do something like put blame on others; I don't blame my ex-wife or her family. My daughter is young and probably just hung up the cell phone. But, it just... happened. And it hurt. It hurt, because I spent my daughter's 6th Birthday a mere 50 miles away from her. A simple 1-hour drive away. But I didn't have gas money. I didn't even have money to take her to lunch like I wanted to the day before her Birthday. And so I sat on my bed, in tears, missing my children, my wife, my family. And in tears because of the choices I make, right or wrong, that have lead me to this point in life.
Do I regret having kids? Getting Married? Meeting my wife? The short answer; NEVER! I still love my wife, I miss her, and I miss the love that we shared with one another. And it truly is a shame that we couldn't make things work. I suppose it doesn't matter who's fault it is. Mine or hers, or both? Who cares. It can be the children that suffer from this in the end. Both me and my wife can either get over our differences, or hold on to the grudges. But, the kids don't know why they have to live at Grandma and Grandpa's now (my inlaws). They don't know why they got to see their Daddy every other week for the first year I was sepparated from my wife. Visiting, a place they used to call home, instead of living there. And now, kids haven't stayed with me for over 3 months because I had to downgrade from the 2-bedroom apartment to renting a room to save money for the upcoming Child Support (now in effect).
It is very easy for friends to be on my side when you just read about my point of view. So I ask that anyone who reads this and may or may not know my wife to not pass judgement on her because of what I say. Blaming or putting fault on someone else is not the reason I write this, or any future Blogs about this Divorce situation. I am merely expressing what is on my mind and getting it out in words. If I were to truly write about this whole ordeal, it would be long, drawn out and bore the heck out of everyone because I don't know how to write very well. Maybe I'll be worthy of a book about my life some day, but I'm 32 years old, turning 33 shortly... I don't see me writing a book about my life until I'm at least 115. *smile*
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Back in the Saddle Again?
A good Aerosmith song, but also ringing true to my current status. I have been drawing and writing again. And it feels wonderful!
MockTales.com:
Tonight on MockTales.com I will be putting up a short narrative with a drawing of the Elf girl, Lilly. I hope to give people a really quick summary of what the MockTales/Nexus Earth comic Universe is about. While MockTales.com needs a lot of work, I'm only going to be opening up more pages as they are done. Too many times have I said I was going to have something on the website, only to end up not having the time and/or knowledge of how to do it. My excitement for my ideas would get the best of me and then people are left with nothing in the end.
MockTales: The Adventures of Tim Garn:
The Script! I have once again re-written the MockTales script. I am currently on the final draft now. Why did I re-write it? Well the initial script was written in 2002. I have modified it a bit over the last few years, but it wasn't until 2010 that I really took a look at it and thought it needed some more substance to it. Those who have read the original script had said that it was too quick of a read and that the characters were accomplishing their tasks too quickly. So I have now stretched out the first story arc and even added a new character to the group.
In December I will be posting character profiles. You will start seeing the main cast of the first book; MockTales: The Adventures of Tim Garn. And then I will follow up with side characters and even characters who I have created for additional comics in the Nexus Earth Universe (as long as the first book does well).
Ballpoint Theater Has arrived!
Or at least it will arrive tonight if I finish the coding correctly on MockTales.com. Tonight I will be starting the "Ballpoint Theater" which will be my weekly attempt at showing artwork to everyone. The catch? This artwork will all be done with a Bic Ballpoint Pen. No pencils. No erasers. Just straight up drawing and whatever happens, happens. Check http://mocktales.com for the first piece between 8-10pm PST.
TRAFFIC RANT!
I'm going to add one more thing to today's blog. For crying outloud, how in the world do some people in this Country have a Driver's License? One of the things about me that my friends have learned lately, is that while I try not to be arrogant about a great many things in life, I am VERY arrogant about driving. I've always thought that if I could drive, anyone could do it. So get ready to see a lot of complaining about how people drive here in the Seattle area. I know, it could be worse. I've heard horror stories about New York and many other cities. And I know it would help if our cities were built with future planning and budgeted correctly, but it really would take just a few simple moments of awareness to help cut down on common traffic issues.
My first complaint; merging onto a Freeway. 1) The Merge: How hard it is to simply allow people to come on to the Freeway in a "Zipper", or "every other car", fashion? And additionally when you are entering the Freeway... give some damn space between you and the car in front so people see you are willing to allow the merge to work properly. If they don't work with you, don't stop doing it. The more people who continue to work hard, to make traffic flow, can eventually make a world of difference. 2) Get up to Speed!: A freeway ramp has ample space, 9 times out of 10, to allow you to match the speed of the current traffic on the Freeway. Focus on the traffic you are entering and get up to the proper speed. Sure the slow lane (right lane) has to be aware you are entering the freeway, and allow you that space to merge into as I mentioned above, but don't slow the flow of traffic down any more because you can't get up to the proper speed. 3) Patience: Unless the Freeway has a ridiculous design where you enter on the left, and immediately need an exit to the right (I-5 Seattle, southbound from the I-520 ramp to, I believe, the Eastlake exit?), there is no reason you can't just take the proper time to merge through the traffic lanes to get to your exit. And again, if you're on the Freeway and people need over to get to an exit, just let them merge through so they don't slow down traffic for everyone else. There is no need to "Be in first place" on a Freeway.
And please, for crying out loud, take a side road if you're not in a hurry. Why get on a Freeway with a 60 mph speed limit, where everyone wants to go 65-70 mph, and only drive 45-50 mph? Do you really want to be "That Guy/Girl".
MockTales.com:
Tonight on MockTales.com I will be putting up a short narrative with a drawing of the Elf girl, Lilly. I hope to give people a really quick summary of what the MockTales/Nexus Earth comic Universe is about. While MockTales.com needs a lot of work, I'm only going to be opening up more pages as they are done. Too many times have I said I was going to have something on the website, only to end up not having the time and/or knowledge of how to do it. My excitement for my ideas would get the best of me and then people are left with nothing in the end.
MockTales: The Adventures of Tim Garn:
The Script! I have once again re-written the MockTales script. I am currently on the final draft now. Why did I re-write it? Well the initial script was written in 2002. I have modified it a bit over the last few years, but it wasn't until 2010 that I really took a look at it and thought it needed some more substance to it. Those who have read the original script had said that it was too quick of a read and that the characters were accomplishing their tasks too quickly. So I have now stretched out the first story arc and even added a new character to the group.
In December I will be posting character profiles. You will start seeing the main cast of the first book; MockTales: The Adventures of Tim Garn. And then I will follow up with side characters and even characters who I have created for additional comics in the Nexus Earth Universe (as long as the first book does well).
Ballpoint Theater Has arrived!
Or at least it will arrive tonight if I finish the coding correctly on MockTales.com. Tonight I will be starting the "Ballpoint Theater" which will be my weekly attempt at showing artwork to everyone. The catch? This artwork will all be done with a Bic Ballpoint Pen. No pencils. No erasers. Just straight up drawing and whatever happens, happens. Check http://mocktales.com for the first piece between 8-10pm PST.
TRAFFIC RANT!
I'm going to add one more thing to today's blog. For crying outloud, how in the world do some people in this Country have a Driver's License? One of the things about me that my friends have learned lately, is that while I try not to be arrogant about a great many things in life, I am VERY arrogant about driving. I've always thought that if I could drive, anyone could do it. So get ready to see a lot of complaining about how people drive here in the Seattle area. I know, it could be worse. I've heard horror stories about New York and many other cities. And I know it would help if our cities were built with future planning and budgeted correctly, but it really would take just a few simple moments of awareness to help cut down on common traffic issues.
My first complaint; merging onto a Freeway. 1) The Merge: How hard it is to simply allow people to come on to the Freeway in a "Zipper", or "every other car", fashion? And additionally when you are entering the Freeway... give some damn space between you and the car in front so people see you are willing to allow the merge to work properly. If they don't work with you, don't stop doing it. The more people who continue to work hard, to make traffic flow, can eventually make a world of difference. 2) Get up to Speed!: A freeway ramp has ample space, 9 times out of 10, to allow you to match the speed of the current traffic on the Freeway. Focus on the traffic you are entering and get up to the proper speed. Sure the slow lane (right lane) has to be aware you are entering the freeway, and allow you that space to merge into as I mentioned above, but don't slow the flow of traffic down any more because you can't get up to the proper speed. 3) Patience: Unless the Freeway has a ridiculous design where you enter on the left, and immediately need an exit to the right (I-5 Seattle, southbound from the I-520 ramp to, I believe, the Eastlake exit?), there is no reason you can't just take the proper time to merge through the traffic lanes to get to your exit. And again, if you're on the Freeway and people need over to get to an exit, just let them merge through so they don't slow down traffic for everyone else. There is no need to "Be in first place" on a Freeway.
And please, for crying out loud, take a side road if you're not in a hurry. Why get on a Freeway with a 60 mph speed limit, where everyone wants to go 65-70 mph, and only drive 45-50 mph? Do you really want to be "That Guy/Girl".
Monday, November 1, 2010
Zombies and Undead
Just a quick rant;
So almost ten years after I wanted to originally start MockTales, the zombie genre has really exploded and taken a life of it's own; so to speak.
Everyone is doing zombies now. It even had me worried for a little while; if I should even bother keeping zombies in my story. And after some thought... HELL YEAH I'm going to keep them. I think we're approaching a time where zombies are becoming the new archtype-foe to put into the comic book format of villains and/or obstacles. You can mix it up now with either a slow zombie Horde, or fast smart-zombie running after you and out-thinking you. Left 4 Dead has different mutated versions of their zombies with different abilities due to the mutation. The sky is the limit at this point.
So this does get me to thinking that I may have to put more thought into my zombies. What will their infection rate be. Will there be a cure? Fast? Slow? It's going to be fun. But the decision has to come soon as the pages are finally coming together and the story is building more and more into a reality each day.
So almost ten years after I wanted to originally start MockTales, the zombie genre has really exploded and taken a life of it's own; so to speak.
Everyone is doing zombies now. It even had me worried for a little while; if I should even bother keeping zombies in my story. And after some thought... HELL YEAH I'm going to keep them. I think we're approaching a time where zombies are becoming the new archtype-foe to put into the comic book format of villains and/or obstacles. You can mix it up now with either a slow zombie Horde, or fast smart-zombie running after you and out-thinking you. Left 4 Dead has different mutated versions of their zombies with different abilities due to the mutation. The sky is the limit at this point.
So this does get me to thinking that I may have to put more thought into my zombies. What will their infection rate be. Will there be a cure? Fast? Slow? It's going to be fun. But the decision has to come soon as the pages are finally coming together and the story is building more and more into a reality each day.
Murphey's Law?
It could be Murphey's Law. Or to "Jinx" one's self. Either way, my advice to anyone is not to gloat and say "I don't get sick." Because guess what happened, I got sick. Bad.
Last week on Tuesday, while at work, I wasn't feeling too well. I talked to the boss and then I had left early and made it in home in time to pray to the toilet God's. And I did that praying for four days straight before I could finally get comfortable with regular food. I haven't been this sick in six years. Chances are it was the Flu. I never get the Flu, and yet here I am recovering from in. While I'm still fatigued, I'm getting more energy back every day.
So on this note, naturally, all my plans for MockTales on Halloween day fell through and everything I had planned couldn't happen. So I'm going to try and make up for that all this week as best as possible.
I did want to have something for everyone on Halloween so I sketched up a sexy Witch character. Just something fun and possible for a later story. I call her Red Bad Witch.
Last week on Tuesday, while at work, I wasn't feeling too well. I talked to the boss and then I had left early and made it in home in time to pray to the toilet God's. And I did that praying for four days straight before I could finally get comfortable with regular food. I haven't been this sick in six years. Chances are it was the Flu. I never get the Flu, and yet here I am recovering from in. While I'm still fatigued, I'm getting more energy back every day.
So on this note, naturally, all my plans for MockTales on Halloween day fell through and everything I had planned couldn't happen. So I'm going to try and make up for that all this week as best as possible.
I did want to have something for everyone on Halloween so I sketched up a sexy Witch character. Just something fun and possible for a later story. I call her Red Bad Witch.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Back to the Grind
Just a short blog. But I'm happy to say that I am getting back to the art table finally. I will be posting artwork tonight after I get off work and then follow up with more artwork on Halloween Day.
Brief History Lesson:
The actual concept of MockTales came to me winter of 2001/2002. Although I tell people this book is 10 years in the making, it actually contains ideas I thought of when I was as young as 6 years old. But in the same respects, I truly feel I haven't been professional and in the right position to put this dream together until now. The problem is, I have been promissing this book for years without realizing I wasn't ready. And because of that, I have let a lot of people down. (as I have mentioned before, so I won't go "broken record" on you all)
So where do we stand? Another deadline coming up and will Greg provide? Well the answer is yes, Greg will provide on Halloween day, October 31st 2010. I will be posting a lot of artwork on Facebook and Deviant Art. The MockTales website will be updated as well, with a few active pages. I am still deciding whether or not to get rid of the template I have been using the last few years and just code everything myself again. But that means more work on my plate.
On the horizon:
There is still no release date for MockTales #1. Not until I know for certain I can have the pages done and print-ready. But I will definately have a couple pages to view online on Halloween day.
Also, while I have a few well known comic artists in talks to help with Pin-up, concept and cover artwork for MockTales, I don't have any definate projects that I can announce at this time. When I have artwork in my hands and ready to print, I will most likely make announcements. I am very excited that I have a few people wanting to work with me on this book. So as soon as I know for sure I will announce who they are and what they will be helping with.
Additionally I am hoping to get some Radio time on the local Seattle stations and get the word out for MockTales across the rest of the country. I'll work on world domination in 2012... shortly before the apocalypse. Advertising for me will be more likely once I actually have pages available for people to view and the book is print-ready.
Want to help? Just let everyone know about MockTales.com and our networking sites. Email me with questions or concerns at mocktales@gmail.com.
(Art below by Greg Scott Bailey. Character: Bleü)
Brief History Lesson:
The actual concept of MockTales came to me winter of 2001/2002. Although I tell people this book is 10 years in the making, it actually contains ideas I thought of when I was as young as 6 years old. But in the same respects, I truly feel I haven't been professional and in the right position to put this dream together until now. The problem is, I have been promissing this book for years without realizing I wasn't ready. And because of that, I have let a lot of people down. (as I have mentioned before, so I won't go "broken record" on you all)
So where do we stand? Another deadline coming up and will Greg provide? Well the answer is yes, Greg will provide on Halloween day, October 31st 2010. I will be posting a lot of artwork on Facebook and Deviant Art. The MockTales website will be updated as well, with a few active pages. I am still deciding whether or not to get rid of the template I have been using the last few years and just code everything myself again. But that means more work on my plate.
On the horizon:
There is still no release date for MockTales #1. Not until I know for certain I can have the pages done and print-ready. But I will definately have a couple pages to view online on Halloween day.
Also, while I have a few well known comic artists in talks to help with Pin-up, concept and cover artwork for MockTales, I don't have any definate projects that I can announce at this time. When I have artwork in my hands and ready to print, I will most likely make announcements. I am very excited that I have a few people wanting to work with me on this book. So as soon as I know for sure I will announce who they are and what they will be helping with.
Additionally I am hoping to get some Radio time on the local Seattle stations and get the word out for MockTales across the rest of the country. I'll work on world domination in 2012... shortly before the apocalypse. Advertising for me will be more likely once I actually have pages available for people to view and the book is print-ready.
Want to help? Just let everyone know about MockTales.com and our networking sites. Email me with questions or concerns at mocktales@gmail.com.
(Art below by Greg Scott Bailey. Character: Bleü)
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Las Vegas Vacation 2010
It has taken me a while to write this blog. Erasing, deleting, re-writing, re-arranging and re-evaluating what I want to say. So as I sit here listening to Machines of Loving Grace "Butterfly Wings" and finish my final edit, I find myself with a smile on my face, a posative outlook on life, and happy to tackle what ever obstacles are ahead.
And so...
It is October 3rd, 2010. I have come home from work to my new place, a rented room at a house in North Seattle. Today is the day I leave for Las Vegas with Nirvana, my new best friend and confidant. We are heading to the City of Sin for a vacation, photo shoots and the Las Vegas Renaissance Faire "Age of Chivalry."
A couple hours into the drive, we have picked up a few extra camping supplies for the Ren Faire from a friend in Bonney Lake and decided instead of driving 30 miles back up north to I-90, we should just take Hwy 410 and drive through White Pass. The climb is steady as we get higher and higher into the mountains. Nirvana and I have been listening to a great assortment of music on her Android phone. With wonder and amazement, the trees just keep looking more and more beautiful as it is apparent Autumn is on the horizon. The rivers flowing by the road remind me why I love the Pacific Northwest so much. When we finally reach the summit area of the highway, the clouds are low and thick, giving us fog-conditions. The road also begins to narrow with caution signs that we should be driving slow. Nirvana and I notice that it would take much to drive off the road and down the cliff, so we naturally obey the speed limit.
After we made it through White Pass, we began travelling through eastern Washington. Passing through Yakima and then heading south to Oregon and further on into Idaho. During that trip Nirvana took over driving duties for a while. While my part of the trip seemed uneventful, Nirvana had to go through some crazy-ass construction. We even had a situation where a Semi and a Ryder truck had an accident. The Semi's trailer was taking up all the lanes on the road, with the cab mushed up sideways on the right. The Ryder truck had crashed into the back of the trailer, probably causing it to slide sideways. After careful assessment while sitting and waiting for emergency services, many of us drivers noticed we could probably squeeze inbetween the back of the trailer, the Ryder truck and the concrete barrier on the left side. So, Nirvana handed over the wheel to me and I slowly navigated the truck through, and we were once again on our way.
The rest of the drive was somewhat uneventful. Taking advantage of a Rest STop, we slept for a couple hours in Idaho. Breakfast in Twin Falls, Idaho, was breathtaking. You could see into a canyon there that was absolutely amazing. It even had a golf course in it. Storm clouds through northern Nevada helped keep the trip cool since we were travelling without air condidtioning. Then, after almost 24 hours from starting our trip, we saw the signs for Las Vegas and the happy, yet tired, smiles began to grow on our faces. We entered town just in time for Nirvana to make a Photo Shoot. The Photographer understood that we were trying hard to make it by Monday night and so it was great to be able to make it into town on time. After the photo shoot Nirvana and I went to check in to the Trump Towers. And what an amazing room and service. We enjoyed our stay so much that we signed up for a second night and even wrote a letter to the staff and management. They were polite, courtious and helpful. Both Nirvana and I plan on staying there again during the week next year if we go to Ren Faire 2011. Or possibly any other trip.
After checking out of the Trump Towers, we went over to a friend of Nirvana's near Lone Mountain and Shepard's Pass so that Nirvana and I could get our own photo shoot in. We ended up hiking a mountainside that wasn't so much difficult, but something I had never done. And at one point I really had to climb probably a 15-20 foot face area. Again, not something difficult, but something I had never done. This was a personal big step in my life, having never done this before and it was such a good feeling knowing I got to climb what I did. While taking some photos on the way up was fun, the real fun happened when we reached the top. We did a few wardrobe changes and then got started. After the shoot, there was a moment of amazement when you look out over the horizon at the city of Las Vegas and all the Mountains in the area. You just stand there in awe of everything, happy to be alive. After the climb, our third Hotel night was at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Our opinion is rather low of this Hotel unfortunately. If we were staying there, ready to party and have people over, then I could see this room being useful. But after the long day of climbing and such, both Nirvana and I were just ready to crash and burn. We were able to get out for dinner at a wonderful Italian eatery, but when we brought home the leftovers we realized there was no fridge in the room. Additionally we wondered if we could just put the left overs in the mini-bar, not realizing that all the items are pressure sensative so that even Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible couldn't steal a mini-bottle of rum if he wanted. (I jest... of course Ethan Hunt could do it!).
After sorting out the "billing" issue and checking out of the room at the Hard Rock, Nirvana and I moved on to one last photo shoot for her, and setting up our camping at Sunset Park, Las Vegas. Meeting with members of The Port of the Black Sail, a guild eventing with the Las Vegas Ren Faire, I quickly began to realize what I missed about going to events both SCA and Ren Faire alike. A great assortment of people that, while it took me a while to warm up to, ended up being a wonderful group that I hope to event with again. They had a great set up complete with rope, fish netting, and the highlight for me; a 15-foot tall Crow's Nest. We spent a good portion of the event playing Pirates/Privateers. Our job was to bring people visiting the Faire from off the street in for Floggings and Drubbings. Floggings of course would mean they would be put into the stocks and flogged. And Drubbings they were put into a second set of stocks and drenched with water. With audience participation, everyone had a great time and joined the fun. We would ask the audience to count to three with us and told them that the louder they would count, the harder we would hit. (which of course was just part of the act). By Sunday, close of event, we were all tired and exhausted... but couldn't take a break yet, because it was time to break down all the equipment and store it in the U-haul truck.
By the end of the event we were heading back on the road again to Seattle. This time we ended up going to Northern California and then up through Oregon. Not because we wanted to, but because I went on the wrong highway. *smiles* Regardless, we knew how to get to I-5 and eventually made our way into Southern Oregon before we finally hit a major snag; loss of transmission fluid. We were climbing up a mountain hillside of I-5 near Sunny Valley when I noticed the accellerator was going all the way to the floor, and we weren't going any faster. Looking in the rearview mirror to get over to the shoulder of the road, I noticed a bunch of smoke/steam coming out the back. My heart sank as we got closer and closer to the shoulder and off the road, almost reaching the top of the hill. We were stuck and weren't able to go anywhere. Eventually with the help of some locals, we were able to find the cause of the transmission fluid leak, clamp it up, get new fluid, and then later that morning get back on our way. A situation that could have been worse, made simple.
As we pulled into the driveway, finally making it home, Nirvana and I both smiled...tiredly. We had a great trip, but it was also good to be home. It was time to go back to work and keep earning our way in the world. The start of many road trips and vacations together, Nirvana and I look forward to the next adventure!
And so...
It is October 3rd, 2010. I have come home from work to my new place, a rented room at a house in North Seattle. Today is the day I leave for Las Vegas with Nirvana, my new best friend and confidant. We are heading to the City of Sin for a vacation, photo shoots and the Las Vegas Renaissance Faire "Age of Chivalry."
A couple hours into the drive, we have picked up a few extra camping supplies for the Ren Faire from a friend in Bonney Lake and decided instead of driving 30 miles back up north to I-90, we should just take Hwy 410 and drive through White Pass. The climb is steady as we get higher and higher into the mountains. Nirvana and I have been listening to a great assortment of music on her Android phone. With wonder and amazement, the trees just keep looking more and more beautiful as it is apparent Autumn is on the horizon. The rivers flowing by the road remind me why I love the Pacific Northwest so much. When we finally reach the summit area of the highway, the clouds are low and thick, giving us fog-conditions. The road also begins to narrow with caution signs that we should be driving slow. Nirvana and I notice that it would take much to drive off the road and down the cliff, so we naturally obey the speed limit.
After we made it through White Pass, we began travelling through eastern Washington. Passing through Yakima and then heading south to Oregon and further on into Idaho. During that trip Nirvana took over driving duties for a while. While my part of the trip seemed uneventful, Nirvana had to go through some crazy-ass construction. We even had a situation where a Semi and a Ryder truck had an accident. The Semi's trailer was taking up all the lanes on the road, with the cab mushed up sideways on the right. The Ryder truck had crashed into the back of the trailer, probably causing it to slide sideways. After careful assessment while sitting and waiting for emergency services, many of us drivers noticed we could probably squeeze inbetween the back of the trailer, the Ryder truck and the concrete barrier on the left side. So, Nirvana handed over the wheel to me and I slowly navigated the truck through, and we were once again on our way.
The rest of the drive was somewhat uneventful. Taking advantage of a Rest STop, we slept for a couple hours in Idaho. Breakfast in Twin Falls, Idaho, was breathtaking. You could see into a canyon there that was absolutely amazing. It even had a golf course in it. Storm clouds through northern Nevada helped keep the trip cool since we were travelling without air condidtioning. Then, after almost 24 hours from starting our trip, we saw the signs for Las Vegas and the happy, yet tired, smiles began to grow on our faces. We entered town just in time for Nirvana to make a Photo Shoot. The Photographer understood that we were trying hard to make it by Monday night and so it was great to be able to make it into town on time. After the photo shoot Nirvana and I went to check in to the Trump Towers. And what an amazing room and service. We enjoyed our stay so much that we signed up for a second night and even wrote a letter to the staff and management. They were polite, courtious and helpful. Both Nirvana and I plan on staying there again during the week next year if we go to Ren Faire 2011. Or possibly any other trip.
After checking out of the Trump Towers, we went over to a friend of Nirvana's near Lone Mountain and Shepard's Pass so that Nirvana and I could get our own photo shoot in. We ended up hiking a mountainside that wasn't so much difficult, but something I had never done. And at one point I really had to climb probably a 15-20 foot face area. Again, not something difficult, but something I had never done. This was a personal big step in my life, having never done this before and it was such a good feeling knowing I got to climb what I did. While taking some photos on the way up was fun, the real fun happened when we reached the top. We did a few wardrobe changes and then got started. After the shoot, there was a moment of amazement when you look out over the horizon at the city of Las Vegas and all the Mountains in the area. You just stand there in awe of everything, happy to be alive. After the climb, our third Hotel night was at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Our opinion is rather low of this Hotel unfortunately. If we were staying there, ready to party and have people over, then I could see this room being useful. But after the long day of climbing and such, both Nirvana and I were just ready to crash and burn. We were able to get out for dinner at a wonderful Italian eatery, but when we brought home the leftovers we realized there was no fridge in the room. Additionally we wondered if we could just put the left overs in the mini-bar, not realizing that all the items are pressure sensative so that even Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible couldn't steal a mini-bottle of rum if he wanted. (I jest... of course Ethan Hunt could do it!).
After sorting out the "billing" issue and checking out of the room at the Hard Rock, Nirvana and I moved on to one last photo shoot for her, and setting up our camping at Sunset Park, Las Vegas. Meeting with members of The Port of the Black Sail, a guild eventing with the Las Vegas Ren Faire, I quickly began to realize what I missed about going to events both SCA and Ren Faire alike. A great assortment of people that, while it took me a while to warm up to, ended up being a wonderful group that I hope to event with again. They had a great set up complete with rope, fish netting, and the highlight for me; a 15-foot tall Crow's Nest. We spent a good portion of the event playing Pirates/Privateers. Our job was to bring people visiting the Faire from off the street in for Floggings and Drubbings. Floggings of course would mean they would be put into the stocks and flogged. And Drubbings they were put into a second set of stocks and drenched with water. With audience participation, everyone had a great time and joined the fun. We would ask the audience to count to three with us and told them that the louder they would count, the harder we would hit. (which of course was just part of the act). By Sunday, close of event, we were all tired and exhausted... but couldn't take a break yet, because it was time to break down all the equipment and store it in the U-haul truck.
By the end of the event we were heading back on the road again to Seattle. This time we ended up going to Northern California and then up through Oregon. Not because we wanted to, but because I went on the wrong highway. *smiles* Regardless, we knew how to get to I-5 and eventually made our way into Southern Oregon before we finally hit a major snag; loss of transmission fluid. We were climbing up a mountain hillside of I-5 near Sunny Valley when I noticed the accellerator was going all the way to the floor, and we weren't going any faster. Looking in the rearview mirror to get over to the shoulder of the road, I noticed a bunch of smoke/steam coming out the back. My heart sank as we got closer and closer to the shoulder and off the road, almost reaching the top of the hill. We were stuck and weren't able to go anywhere. Eventually with the help of some locals, we were able to find the cause of the transmission fluid leak, clamp it up, get new fluid, and then later that morning get back on our way. A situation that could have been worse, made simple.
As we pulled into the driveway, finally making it home, Nirvana and I both smiled...tiredly. We had a great trip, but it was also good to be home. It was time to go back to work and keep earning our way in the world. The start of many road trips and vacations together, Nirvana and I look forward to the next adventure!
Monday, September 20, 2010
A new beginning
So.... holy crap its almost the end of 2010 and it has now been a year since my wife left.
I wanted to write briefly about my feelings lately. As you can imagine, 5-6 years worth of a relationship either married or just being with someone you love is hard to let go. Part of you wants to jump for joy at the sign of freedom. The other part of you misses the person that you had loved so dearly and would have done just anything for.
Learning to deal with these emotions can have a tremendous effect on someone throughout their daily lives. The depression can make it hard to follow through on commitments. Organization and "giving a damn" goes out the window. And people who have been depending on you, are let down to the point where they have no more faith in you.
Yesterday I left a message on my Deviant Art page and I will follow up with that here; I am effectively cancelling my launch of MockTales for late October/beginning of November 2010. When will the book be out? At this time I just don't know. I'm not giving up, but I just can't make the deadline I set for myself. The deadline that I keep setting over and over since 2004. Every year I say I'm drawing this book. Every year I tell people it is just a few months away. Every year since I started selling artwork at the Emerald City Comic Con, I would tell people it's almost here. And every year, I let people down. Including myself.
The idea was this; that I would move out of my apartment in Lakewood, and move into a room for rent either with my Niece, or eventually where I ended up living now, at a room for rent in Seattle. Since I have moved into this new place, my old life has been slowly drifting away, making room for my new life. I have met some of the most amazing people in the last year or so. And more recently, in the last 6 months, I feel like I have fallen in love all over again. Fallen in love with life, my mind, my art, my writing, and even with a woman who means a great deal to me. Where all of this will go, I just don't know. I'll read back on this in five years and tell you then. But for once, I'm not scared or afraid. Should I be? Am I too numb to feel afraid any more?
Someone had once told me, that when my wife slammed my thumb in between the door-frame and the car door (accidentally of course) that the reason I was not freaking or lashing out in anger because I was in shock. I've heard people say this so many times, but never understood it. I had complete access to my thoughts and actions and knew that I was injured, knew there was pain, but chose not to react to it. This makes it hard for me to understand why people keep using shock as an answer, and not just the fact that someone can choose how they will respond to a painful situation.
I paused a moment while writing this to look at the scar on my thumb.
After months of being alone. Hurt by two more women, my own actions, and even a few more bumps and scrapes along the way, I chooes to learn from this pain and continue to bee the happy and cheerful person I want to be. Some days won't be as cheerful. I won't have the energy. But then that will go away and once again I will feel upbeat and on top of the world. That is the person I am. And I know this bothers people, but I think it bothers people who can't deal with their own emotions, problems and pain.
Their day will come.
For me, my new life starts now...
I wanted to write briefly about my feelings lately. As you can imagine, 5-6 years worth of a relationship either married or just being with someone you love is hard to let go. Part of you wants to jump for joy at the sign of freedom. The other part of you misses the person that you had loved so dearly and would have done just anything for.
Learning to deal with these emotions can have a tremendous effect on someone throughout their daily lives. The depression can make it hard to follow through on commitments. Organization and "giving a damn" goes out the window. And people who have been depending on you, are let down to the point where they have no more faith in you.
Yesterday I left a message on my Deviant Art page and I will follow up with that here; I am effectively cancelling my launch of MockTales for late October/beginning of November 2010. When will the book be out? At this time I just don't know. I'm not giving up, but I just can't make the deadline I set for myself. The deadline that I keep setting over and over since 2004. Every year I say I'm drawing this book. Every year I tell people it is just a few months away. Every year since I started selling artwork at the Emerald City Comic Con, I would tell people it's almost here. And every year, I let people down. Including myself.
The idea was this; that I would move out of my apartment in Lakewood, and move into a room for rent either with my Niece, or eventually where I ended up living now, at a room for rent in Seattle. Since I have moved into this new place, my old life has been slowly drifting away, making room for my new life. I have met some of the most amazing people in the last year or so. And more recently, in the last 6 months, I feel like I have fallen in love all over again. Fallen in love with life, my mind, my art, my writing, and even with a woman who means a great deal to me. Where all of this will go, I just don't know. I'll read back on this in five years and tell you then. But for once, I'm not scared or afraid. Should I be? Am I too numb to feel afraid any more?
Someone had once told me, that when my wife slammed my thumb in between the door-frame and the car door (accidentally of course) that the reason I was not freaking or lashing out in anger because I was in shock. I've heard people say this so many times, but never understood it. I had complete access to my thoughts and actions and knew that I was injured, knew there was pain, but chose not to react to it. This makes it hard for me to understand why people keep using shock as an answer, and not just the fact that someone can choose how they will respond to a painful situation.
I paused a moment while writing this to look at the scar on my thumb.
After months of being alone. Hurt by two more women, my own actions, and even a few more bumps and scrapes along the way, I chooes to learn from this pain and continue to bee the happy and cheerful person I want to be. Some days won't be as cheerful. I won't have the energy. But then that will go away and once again I will feel upbeat and on top of the world. That is the person I am. And I know this bothers people, but I think it bothers people who can't deal with their own emotions, problems and pain.
Their day will come.
For me, my new life starts now...
Monday, July 26, 2010
Lost some of that steam
Never got around to writing this. But figured the title was important since my December 2009 blog.
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