So my oldest daughter, Kyra, turned 6 years old last Friday (19th). Hard to believe it has been 6 years. I've been mulling this over the past two days on whether or not to post anything about it. As well as what and what not to post on Facebook or Blog about in my personal life. Things like; my divorce, not being around my kids, my financial problems, ect. I really want to be someone like Kevin Smith and post what ever the hell is on my mind without worrying about people taking it the wrong way. There is so much I've been holding back, and hopefully some day soon I will be able to talk about it. The things that have made me happy, sad, depressed, overjoyed. All of it.
So... back to the subject at hand; I got to talk to my daughter on the phone for (re-checks his cell phone) 1 minute 03 seconds on her Birthday. It happened so fast, she told me about getting presents and a cake and sounded really happy... and then she said goodbye and the phone was hung up. As easy as it is to assume and do something like put blame on others; I don't blame my ex-wife or her family. My daughter is young and probably just hung up the cell phone. But, it just... happened. And it hurt. It hurt, because I spent my daughter's 6th Birthday a mere 50 miles away from her. A simple 1-hour drive away. But I didn't have gas money. I didn't even have money to take her to lunch like I wanted to the day before her Birthday. And so I sat on my bed, in tears, missing my children, my wife, my family. And in tears because of the choices I make, right or wrong, that have lead me to this point in life.
Do I regret having kids? Getting Married? Meeting my wife? The short answer; NEVER! I still love my wife, I miss her, and I miss the love that we shared with one another. And it truly is a shame that we couldn't make things work. I suppose it doesn't matter who's fault it is. Mine or hers, or both? Who cares. It can be the children that suffer from this in the end. Both me and my wife can either get over our differences, or hold on to the grudges. But, the kids don't know why they have to live at Grandma and Grandpa's now (my inlaws). They don't know why they got to see their Daddy every other week for the first year I was sepparated from my wife. Visiting, a place they used to call home, instead of living there. And now, kids haven't stayed with me for over 3 months because I had to downgrade from the 2-bedroom apartment to renting a room to save money for the upcoming Child Support (now in effect).
It is very easy for friends to be on my side when you just read about my point of view. So I ask that anyone who reads this and may or may not know my wife to not pass judgement on her because of what I say. Blaming or putting fault on someone else is not the reason I write this, or any future Blogs about this Divorce situation. I am merely expressing what is on my mind and getting it out in words. If I were to truly write about this whole ordeal, it would be long, drawn out and bore the heck out of everyone because I don't know how to write very well. Maybe I'll be worthy of a book about my life some day, but I'm 32 years old, turning 33 shortly... I don't see me writing a book about my life until I'm at least 115. *smile*
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Back in the Saddle Again?
A good Aerosmith song, but also ringing true to my current status. I have been drawing and writing again. And it feels wonderful!
MockTales.com:
Tonight on MockTales.com I will be putting up a short narrative with a drawing of the Elf girl, Lilly. I hope to give people a really quick summary of what the MockTales/Nexus Earth comic Universe is about. While MockTales.com needs a lot of work, I'm only going to be opening up more pages as they are done. Too many times have I said I was going to have something on the website, only to end up not having the time and/or knowledge of how to do it. My excitement for my ideas would get the best of me and then people are left with nothing in the end.
MockTales: The Adventures of Tim Garn:
The Script! I have once again re-written the MockTales script. I am currently on the final draft now. Why did I re-write it? Well the initial script was written in 2002. I have modified it a bit over the last few years, but it wasn't until 2010 that I really took a look at it and thought it needed some more substance to it. Those who have read the original script had said that it was too quick of a read and that the characters were accomplishing their tasks too quickly. So I have now stretched out the first story arc and even added a new character to the group.
In December I will be posting character profiles. You will start seeing the main cast of the first book; MockTales: The Adventures of Tim Garn. And then I will follow up with side characters and even characters who I have created for additional comics in the Nexus Earth Universe (as long as the first book does well).
Ballpoint Theater Has arrived!
Or at least it will arrive tonight if I finish the coding correctly on MockTales.com. Tonight I will be starting the "Ballpoint Theater" which will be my weekly attempt at showing artwork to everyone. The catch? This artwork will all be done with a Bic Ballpoint Pen. No pencils. No erasers. Just straight up drawing and whatever happens, happens. Check http://mocktales.com for the first piece between 8-10pm PST.
TRAFFIC RANT!
I'm going to add one more thing to today's blog. For crying outloud, how in the world do some people in this Country have a Driver's License? One of the things about me that my friends have learned lately, is that while I try not to be arrogant about a great many things in life, I am VERY arrogant about driving. I've always thought that if I could drive, anyone could do it. So get ready to see a lot of complaining about how people drive here in the Seattle area. I know, it could be worse. I've heard horror stories about New York and many other cities. And I know it would help if our cities were built with future planning and budgeted correctly, but it really would take just a few simple moments of awareness to help cut down on common traffic issues.
My first complaint; merging onto a Freeway. 1) The Merge: How hard it is to simply allow people to come on to the Freeway in a "Zipper", or "every other car", fashion? And additionally when you are entering the Freeway... give some damn space between you and the car in front so people see you are willing to allow the merge to work properly. If they don't work with you, don't stop doing it. The more people who continue to work hard, to make traffic flow, can eventually make a world of difference. 2) Get up to Speed!: A freeway ramp has ample space, 9 times out of 10, to allow you to match the speed of the current traffic on the Freeway. Focus on the traffic you are entering and get up to the proper speed. Sure the slow lane (right lane) has to be aware you are entering the freeway, and allow you that space to merge into as I mentioned above, but don't slow the flow of traffic down any more because you can't get up to the proper speed. 3) Patience: Unless the Freeway has a ridiculous design where you enter on the left, and immediately need an exit to the right (I-5 Seattle, southbound from the I-520 ramp to, I believe, the Eastlake exit?), there is no reason you can't just take the proper time to merge through the traffic lanes to get to your exit. And again, if you're on the Freeway and people need over to get to an exit, just let them merge through so they don't slow down traffic for everyone else. There is no need to "Be in first place" on a Freeway.
And please, for crying out loud, take a side road if you're not in a hurry. Why get on a Freeway with a 60 mph speed limit, where everyone wants to go 65-70 mph, and only drive 45-50 mph? Do you really want to be "That Guy/Girl".
MockTales.com:
Tonight on MockTales.com I will be putting up a short narrative with a drawing of the Elf girl, Lilly. I hope to give people a really quick summary of what the MockTales/Nexus Earth comic Universe is about. While MockTales.com needs a lot of work, I'm only going to be opening up more pages as they are done. Too many times have I said I was going to have something on the website, only to end up not having the time and/or knowledge of how to do it. My excitement for my ideas would get the best of me and then people are left with nothing in the end.
MockTales: The Adventures of Tim Garn:
The Script! I have once again re-written the MockTales script. I am currently on the final draft now. Why did I re-write it? Well the initial script was written in 2002. I have modified it a bit over the last few years, but it wasn't until 2010 that I really took a look at it and thought it needed some more substance to it. Those who have read the original script had said that it was too quick of a read and that the characters were accomplishing their tasks too quickly. So I have now stretched out the first story arc and even added a new character to the group.
In December I will be posting character profiles. You will start seeing the main cast of the first book; MockTales: The Adventures of Tim Garn. And then I will follow up with side characters and even characters who I have created for additional comics in the Nexus Earth Universe (as long as the first book does well).
Ballpoint Theater Has arrived!
Or at least it will arrive tonight if I finish the coding correctly on MockTales.com. Tonight I will be starting the "Ballpoint Theater" which will be my weekly attempt at showing artwork to everyone. The catch? This artwork will all be done with a Bic Ballpoint Pen. No pencils. No erasers. Just straight up drawing and whatever happens, happens. Check http://mocktales.com for the first piece between 8-10pm PST.
TRAFFIC RANT!
I'm going to add one more thing to today's blog. For crying outloud, how in the world do some people in this Country have a Driver's License? One of the things about me that my friends have learned lately, is that while I try not to be arrogant about a great many things in life, I am VERY arrogant about driving. I've always thought that if I could drive, anyone could do it. So get ready to see a lot of complaining about how people drive here in the Seattle area. I know, it could be worse. I've heard horror stories about New York and many other cities. And I know it would help if our cities were built with future planning and budgeted correctly, but it really would take just a few simple moments of awareness to help cut down on common traffic issues.
My first complaint; merging onto a Freeway. 1) The Merge: How hard it is to simply allow people to come on to the Freeway in a "Zipper", or "every other car", fashion? And additionally when you are entering the Freeway... give some damn space between you and the car in front so people see you are willing to allow the merge to work properly. If they don't work with you, don't stop doing it. The more people who continue to work hard, to make traffic flow, can eventually make a world of difference. 2) Get up to Speed!: A freeway ramp has ample space, 9 times out of 10, to allow you to match the speed of the current traffic on the Freeway. Focus on the traffic you are entering and get up to the proper speed. Sure the slow lane (right lane) has to be aware you are entering the freeway, and allow you that space to merge into as I mentioned above, but don't slow the flow of traffic down any more because you can't get up to the proper speed. 3) Patience: Unless the Freeway has a ridiculous design where you enter on the left, and immediately need an exit to the right (I-5 Seattle, southbound from the I-520 ramp to, I believe, the Eastlake exit?), there is no reason you can't just take the proper time to merge through the traffic lanes to get to your exit. And again, if you're on the Freeway and people need over to get to an exit, just let them merge through so they don't slow down traffic for everyone else. There is no need to "Be in first place" on a Freeway.
And please, for crying out loud, take a side road if you're not in a hurry. Why get on a Freeway with a 60 mph speed limit, where everyone wants to go 65-70 mph, and only drive 45-50 mph? Do you really want to be "That Guy/Girl".
Monday, November 1, 2010
Zombies and Undead
Just a quick rant;
So almost ten years after I wanted to originally start MockTales, the zombie genre has really exploded and taken a life of it's own; so to speak.
Everyone is doing zombies now. It even had me worried for a little while; if I should even bother keeping zombies in my story. And after some thought... HELL YEAH I'm going to keep them. I think we're approaching a time where zombies are becoming the new archtype-foe to put into the comic book format of villains and/or obstacles. You can mix it up now with either a slow zombie Horde, or fast smart-zombie running after you and out-thinking you. Left 4 Dead has different mutated versions of their zombies with different abilities due to the mutation. The sky is the limit at this point.
So this does get me to thinking that I may have to put more thought into my zombies. What will their infection rate be. Will there be a cure? Fast? Slow? It's going to be fun. But the decision has to come soon as the pages are finally coming together and the story is building more and more into a reality each day.
So almost ten years after I wanted to originally start MockTales, the zombie genre has really exploded and taken a life of it's own; so to speak.
Everyone is doing zombies now. It even had me worried for a little while; if I should even bother keeping zombies in my story. And after some thought... HELL YEAH I'm going to keep them. I think we're approaching a time where zombies are becoming the new archtype-foe to put into the comic book format of villains and/or obstacles. You can mix it up now with either a slow zombie Horde, or fast smart-zombie running after you and out-thinking you. Left 4 Dead has different mutated versions of their zombies with different abilities due to the mutation. The sky is the limit at this point.
So this does get me to thinking that I may have to put more thought into my zombies. What will their infection rate be. Will there be a cure? Fast? Slow? It's going to be fun. But the decision has to come soon as the pages are finally coming together and the story is building more and more into a reality each day.
Murphey's Law?
It could be Murphey's Law. Or to "Jinx" one's self. Either way, my advice to anyone is not to gloat and say "I don't get sick." Because guess what happened, I got sick. Bad.
Last week on Tuesday, while at work, I wasn't feeling too well. I talked to the boss and then I had left early and made it in home in time to pray to the toilet God's. And I did that praying for four days straight before I could finally get comfortable with regular food. I haven't been this sick in six years. Chances are it was the Flu. I never get the Flu, and yet here I am recovering from in. While I'm still fatigued, I'm getting more energy back every day.
So on this note, naturally, all my plans for MockTales on Halloween day fell through and everything I had planned couldn't happen. So I'm going to try and make up for that all this week as best as possible.
I did want to have something for everyone on Halloween so I sketched up a sexy Witch character. Just something fun and possible for a later story. I call her Red Bad Witch.
Last week on Tuesday, while at work, I wasn't feeling too well. I talked to the boss and then I had left early and made it in home in time to pray to the toilet God's. And I did that praying for four days straight before I could finally get comfortable with regular food. I haven't been this sick in six years. Chances are it was the Flu. I never get the Flu, and yet here I am recovering from in. While I'm still fatigued, I'm getting more energy back every day.
So on this note, naturally, all my plans for MockTales on Halloween day fell through and everything I had planned couldn't happen. So I'm going to try and make up for that all this week as best as possible.
I did want to have something for everyone on Halloween so I sketched up a sexy Witch character. Just something fun and possible for a later story. I call her Red Bad Witch.
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